Tag Archives: family

10 Years

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10 years ago I was a college freshman at the University of Pittsburgh. Having just completed a 4-year enlistment in the Army, I was enjoying the freedom of these first weeks in school. My husband and I had created a home in a little apartment in Brookline (a neighborhood in Pittsburgh) and I certainly felt like a city girl, riding the bus or trolley to school everyday.

Between classes I was relaxing on the Cathedral lawn, soaking in the September light, when I heard an emergency alert sound from speakers I never before noticed. Students were then directed to evacuate the campus, students living in dormitories were given further instructions, but I was numbly packing my bag, wondering what could possibly be wrong.

Waiting at a bus stop, rumors were flying. Some waiting passengers were passing mixed messages of explosions in New York, bombs heading for Pittsburgh and attacks across the US. Speculation and exaggeration were rampant until I simply stated “If bombs were truly heading here, the university wouldn’t have us standing at a bus stop corner.” A few nods and then silence.

A bus came along and we all squeezed in. I’ve never experienced a quieter bus ride. Riders were captivated by the simple facts the driver passed on. It all seemed so insane. The Pentagon? New York? I then doubted Pittsburgh was under real threat, but the evacuation was still very real.

Stuck in a standstill, I asked to get off the bus and walked towards downtown. I tried to stop at every single payphone, but there were lines I wasn’t willing to wait in. I just felt this need to get home. Eventually I came to a downtown trolley station, piling into a car to get out of the city. On the longest ride of my life, I heard pieces of news and practically ran the 1.5 miles to our apartment.

I opened the door to a ringing phone. Tom wanting to know if I made it home, family from Arizona wanting to know how close we were to the Flight 93 crash, local family wondering if Tom and I would be called back to the Army or if Tom’s National Guard unit had been activated.

I had no answers. All I knew was that this moment was devastating for my country. I thought of all my friends still serving and I cried for what this might mean. For days I watched the news, but returned to school once the University reopened (cell phone in my bag, since Tom felt it was a necessity now).

The impact of those four planes on my life has been ongoing and amazing. Tom has now safely deployed four times (except for an IED incident, thankfully while in a tank). He reenlisted in the Army as a tank gunner and was accepted to Officer Candidate School in 2005. We now find ourselves in Spain, trying to find our way, but thankful for each other and our two little girls. As I sit in our Madrid apartment, watching the memorial services on CNN International, I realize how this event was a marker in history and I wonder how the future will continue to play out.

Currently, the national unity sparked by the terrorist attacks on 9/11/01 is just a memory. Our military is still at war. My own child even told me “I will choose to believe this when I am a grown-up.” Tom and I were dumbstruck. Despite our assurance that it did happen, that this was why her father and so many soldiers have deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, she continued with this horrifying assertion. I finally asked her why. She said “It’s too sad and too bad. I can’t believe it.”

I understand the desire to forget, but remembrance is required and necessary for our country. I truly hope this day never disappears into future American History books, no matter how horrifying or transforming the results of this day  become.

I’m Back?

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Yes. It has been 4 weeks since I’ve posted to my blog. And while I don’t know where to begin, I know I have to write or I’ll let this slip into oblivion. The good stuff, Spain, is just about to start and I hate to disappoint my fabulous readers!

In the last 29 days since I last posted, I have finally made it out of our home and am on the first leg of our journey to Spain (a stop at the in-laws). Next week will find us in Arizona, followed by a brief stop in Pittsburgh before hopping a plane for our new home!

I was also blown away by some unexpected news. Our adventure in Spain will now include a pregnancy and new baby.Yes, baby number 3 will be making it’s Spanish appearance in Spring 2012. Tom is actually hoping for a Leap Day Baby (of course). This changes some plans for me, but I’m finally learning to get over the shock. I’m now dealing with exhaustion and nausea and all the other fun things that visit during an early pregnancy.

We found out one week before we were leaving our home. I was comatose for a few days, then scrambling to finish the laundry, sorting, packing and cleaning before the packers came. It was absolute chaos. My calm, organized process was thrown aside for chaotic scrambling, manic laundry folding, and some occasional screeching. We made it, thanks to a last-minute decision to take the kids to our in-laws a few days ahead of us.

I miss my friends terribly. I miss the lake and the farmer’s market and my backyard. I miss my home. I’m a little sad that another family is already in it (and were in the home about an hour after we left), but it is a sweet home and I hope the military family who is renting it will enjoy it as much as we did.

I hope this renews my blog. I can’t wait to get pictures up to include some of my empty home as well! (That is always so strange!) Thank you all for your patience, I promise, Spain is coming!

For My Dad

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For Father’s Day, I thought I would share a bit about my father and how he’s impacted me as a mother. I don’t talk about how fabulous fathers are nearly as often as I should, but I’m going to fix that right now. (I know Tom, I’ll get to you soon…you too, my favorite father-in-law!)

My father is one of the most calm, level-headed, constant people in my life. In fact, I could probably count the number of times he ever raised his voice to me. He just knows the appropriate reaction to almost every life circumstance. I’m sure some of that is clouded by adoration, but truly, he seems to come pretty close to the mark every single time. As I trudge through motherhood, I constantly try to recall the value of a calm voice, of thinking through an issue before reacting, but also how to recognize a moment that needs swift, immediate action. In that case, I’ve learned to trust my instincts, follow through, and not apologize. Again, learned from Dad.

My Dad with a much younger Emma.

There have been several truly trying moments in my adult life and I found myself turning to my father. He always listens, reserving judgement until the end. His most famous, insightful advice often comes in the form of a wise owl: “I think you know the answer kid…” He will listen and listen and make sense of the pile of nonsense I dumped at his doorstep. And he’s right. I do know the answer (and I love being called kid, especially now, makes me feel young).

On a more personal level (yes, there is something more personal than motherhood), as a writer I’ve always valued my father’s ability to share his life. He is one of those amazing storytellers who weaves just the right amount of detail into a story without being overbearing. I love hearing about his many adventures (and trust me, he’s had some amazing ones: arresting one of the FBI’s 10 most wanted single-handed, a military tour in West Africa, tales of Tucson in it’s earlier years, owning businesses, creating a town, serving as mayor…the list goes on). Another useful tool as a writer is observing how he can get just about anybody to warm-up to him. A little smile, a joke, and a sympathetic comment and BAM!, he’s in the door.

And with a much younger Regan and his sweet dog, Taco. Yes, I must get new pictures next month!

Who isn’t in the market for a strong, brave, loyal, loving father who looks like John Wayne? Luckily my father fits the bill. (As an aside, I was once on a weekend trip with a childhood friend and her family. We stopped for lunch at a restaurant with walls dedicated to John Wayne. I asked my friend’s mother why there were so many pictures of my Dad on the wall…) I am continuously amazed by the strength of his love and I am eternally grateful to count such an amazing man as my father.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

I love you.

Fix It Friday

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There is a great blog for all aspiring photographers, i heart faces. Created by some incredibly talented photographers and featuring professional photographers as guest contributors, it has been a treasure trove of information for me. As the title suggests, it is mostly about portraits, though many assignments include faces in unexpected ways.

One of their more helpful training segments is Fix It Friday and today, since it is Friday and Tom is home and Regan is taking a very, very rare nap, I decided to participate.

Here is the original photo, contributed by Susan Keller.

Here is my color fix:

While I was tempted to do a bit of a color washout, I was taken by the pops of color that came through with some basic fixes and decided to embrace the greens and yellows.

Here is my black and white fix:

I chose not to go with a complete black and white, but allowed some of the green tones to bleed through.

If you’re interested on how Susan edited her photo (and all of the steps she used), check out the Fix It Friday post here.

Moving, Phase 3

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I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been blogging quite a bit less lately. So much has gone on the past several weeks: soccer, school, sick kids, sleep issues (still), even dealing with bullies (yes, I’m diverse…and tough)!

But the biggest time suck by far has been the craziness of an overseas move. The good news? I have successfully completed phase 1, Get Moving and phase 2, Schedule Everything. We’ve cleaned and scrubbed and sorted everything and everyone in the house. We scheduled every appointment we could possibly need, crossed major chunks of necessities off our list, and even sorted what we’re going to do with our animals.

We’re now in the roughest phase, phase 3:

Begin to say good-bye.

This isn’t a simple wave and exchange of email addresses. This involves slowly separating ourselves from our home, spending time with people we care about, visiting favorite places and scarfing down all our favorite, regional foods. How to do this?

1. Plan all out-of-state travel.

Book tickets, coordinate dates, make sure you’ll see those important people who you might not see for several months (or years, for that matter). For my family, that means planning time in Pittsburgh with my in-laws and a trip to Arizona to visit my family. Since my family, our stuff, and our car is leaving from the east coast, my Pittsburgh relatives will see a bit more of us. (We have a car to deliver to New Jersey, recovery from packers and interstate travel, etc. I promise if we were going to Hawaii, Alaska, or Asia, we would definitely hang out in Arizona much longer!)

Nomadic Tip: Book all air travel well in advance, researching multiple sites. If you wait too long and prices are looking scary, hold off until right before your trip and snag a last-minute trip. Always try to fly on Tuesday or Wednesday, the least busy (and cheapest) days of the week. The most expensive time to purchase tickets is 30-10 days out from a trip.

2. Pick a date to leave town.

Once you plan your out-of-state visits, you have to choose a date to leave your community. It’s rough. Every time someone asks you “So, when are you leaving? Are you getting close?” you’ll cringe a bit when you answer (especially if the person asking is someone you’ll really miss). This is essential though. We have many friends here and this good-bye will be rough. We need to pace ourselves!

Nomadic Tip: Remember to leave a day or two after the movers are all done packing to recover before leaving town. You’ll need it before setting out on the next leg of your journey.

3. Plan your goodbyes.

It can be especially hard for children to say goodbye to their friends. Some special time, even if it’s a few hours at a playground, can make that easier. Gifts are certainly not necessary, but a picture of those you care about can make a difference. When a good friend left this past winter, she planned an early birthday party for her daughter. Our children were able to make t-shirts with everyone’s handprints on them (dipped in fast-drying fabric paint and labeled with a fabric marker) and had plenty of playtime. Cake, memorable craft, and play…perfect.

For adults, a lunch with a good friend, a small get together at your house, or even the time for a real phone call (yes, actually speaking instead of sending 76 text messages or an ongoing Facebook message) is all you need. It really is just enough to say good-bye without drawing out the memories and tears. Make sure you have phone, mail, and email addresses!

Nomadic Tip: Search for “free printable business cards” like these at How About Orange. Include your email address and any other information you have available. Have them ready to hand out to friends.

4. Take time off.

You and everyone in your family needs time off from goodbyes, cleaning, sorting, and running errands. Take a weekend off, I promise you will miraculously crunch everything into your remaining time. If taking a break before you’re all ready to go stresses you out, get things done and relax until the movers come. I promise this second option only works for a small portion of the population. If you aren’t naturally organized, don’t shoot for it. Plan that relaxation time in the middle of your preparation.

Nomadic Tip: Use this time off to relax in your home and visit some local, nearby favorite sites and restaurants. Stay close to home so you have plenty of downtime, don’t do too much!

I’m ready for number 4, taking some time off. I can’t wait to get there…I’m really wishing I had Samantha’s wiggly nose.